Slash all wrapped up in a little package

libertine: I'm avoiding all things Origins.
Ivy: Pansy's uterus pops out.
libertine: You're fucking joking.
Ivy: nope.
Ivy: I'm so not joking.
libertine: Oh my god, that is gross.
Ivy: LOL
Ivy: Yeah, it is.
libertine: Dude, you so can't have it popping out.
libertine: Put it back in.
Ivy: No way.
Ivy: Draco did it as revenge
libertine: Does it go back in? I mean, can you like...
libertine: WTF?
Ivy: LOL
libertine: Most boys like, just cut off chicks pigtails.
libertine: Draco is all, he he, I'll just pluck out the bitch's uterus.
Ivy: well, she curses harry without a wand
Ivy: while draco has his wand pointed at harry
Ivy: so it totally looks like he did it
Ivy: he gets roughed up, harry is dying
libertine: Oh.
Ivy: and then she comes to him and says, don't sulk.
Ivy: he would have destroyed you
Ivy: we're going to get fucking married
Ivy: and if you need to have your male fucktoys keep them stupid and harmless.
Ivy: I promise not to tell I did it
Ivy: and you can take the credit
libertine: So he removes her uterus.
Ivy: yes.
Ivy: it's all, like, blood and shit
libertine: Like. That's really gross.
Ivy: and then he says
Ivy: "I don't think even your parents will expect me to marry you now, do you?"
Ivy: and walks away
libertine: psycho!Draco.
libertine: MY GOD, WOMAN, IT'S HER UTERUS.
libertine: Surely that's fixable?
Ivy: fuck that
libertine: Or... not.
libertine: LOL
libertine: Ew.
libertine: EW.
libertine: Bad.
libertine: Icky.
libertine: Ivy icky.
libertine: All you needed was some chick to remove her procreative organs, and that's the meaning of slash all wrapped up in a little package.

Tom the fisherman

I'm not hooked on Potter

Harry's enemy Draco is planing to scorn stardom and study fishing.

Harry potter actor Tom Felton has spurned Hollywood stardom for a career in fisheries. Tom, 14, who plays Draco Malfoy, the meanest schoolboy at Hogwarts, said yesterday: "Harry potter is fantastic, but when this is over I don't think i'll carry on. I want to go to college to do fisheries studies. I haven't accepted any other films outside of this because acting isn't the be-all-and-end-all for me. I think you have to keep your feet on the ground with this sort of stuff."

He added: "In spite of what Draco is like, i really like school and I miss it a lot when i'm filming. I've a fair idea what I want to do for my GCSEs - I will definitley be doing Music." Tom who was speaking at the launch of Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone on video and DVD, held in a special recreation of the film's set at London's King's Cross Station, also admitted that the level of interest in him since the movie hit cinemas last November has been a suprise.

"It is a bit weird when you're out and people recognise you," he said. "I have been at events where people are booing and hissing as I come on but i'm pretty used to it now."

Oh, the fun things I'm finding today

Origins 13

Draco wondered if this was the nature of love. Touch it, and it dies. He had read about flowers from Brazil made with coloured sand, balanced just so, without magic even. Just sand, water, and a steady hand. If you touched them, even if you came close, they would disintegrate into a formless dune. He had dreamed once about being in a forest of sand. Tall trees with smoky black trunks, large, shiny green leaves, thick underbrush, flowers in every colour. In the dream he couldn't resist it, he reached out and touched it all spun in circles and destroyed it while crying and screaming and wishing he could stop. Perhaps it wasn't the nature of love. Perhaps it was the nature of Draco Malfoy.