bexless accidentally brings back my gay

[ivyblossom]

I'm so afraid. So very afraid. It remains to be seen if the following revelation has in fact cured me of my ill-fated man-crush, but I think it stands as good a chance as any. Special thanks to bexless and bonibaru for their continued support in these trying times.


Ozbex: I bet he has some gross habits
Ozbex: he probably farts in bed or picks his feet
IvyDamned: I'm sure he does
Ozbex: and you *know* he plays pocket billiards
IvyDamned: O_O
IvyDamned: I don't even KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
IvyDamned: *facepalms*
Ozbex: er...*laughing*
Ozbex: It's when a guy...rummages
Ozbex: it's horrible
Ozbex: but they do it ALL THE TIME
Ozbex: especially if they're hung
Ozbex: which he is
IvyDamned: and...what are they...actually...doing...
Ozbex: fiddling. with it.
IvyDamned: WHY DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HIS PENIS?!
IvyDamned: *WEEEEEEPS*
Ozbex: URBAN LEGEND
IvyDamned: the movie?
IvyDamned: LOL
Ozbex: *cries with laughter*
IvyDamned: did you get a gander at it?
Ozbex: well
IvyDamned: *needs to lie down*
Ozbex: on the DVD
Ozbex: on the extras
Ozbex: there's a sex scene
Ozbex: between him and Tara thingy
Ozbex: that blonde bird
Ozbex: anyway
IvyDamned: *very scared*
Ozbex: the sex scene's really amusing
Ozbex: she's making him do all this weird shit
Ozbex: and he's going "Why can't we have sex like normal people!"
Ozbex: it's very funny
Ozbex: anyway
Ozbex: at the beginning of it
Ozbex: he's lying on the bed
Ozbex: in his boxers
Ozbex: smoking a joint
Ozbex: and on the director's commentary
IvyDamned: *blinks*
Ozbex: they talk about how difficult it was to light, because Michael's bulge is so...prominent
Ozbex: and dude. It *is*
IvyDamned: *curls up into a ball*
IvyDamned: *rocks self*
Ozbex: *laughs really loudly*
Ozbex: *dies*
Ozbex: it's all true
IvyDamned: *tests gay*
Ozbex: he's starting to get really paranoid
Ozbex: cos they cut that scene
Ozbex: and then
IvyDamned: paranoid...about his...BULGE?!
Ozbex: they cut his sex scene with Desiree
Ozbex: and in SB
Ozbex: they cut most of his sex scenes too
Ozbex: and he's like "What are they trying to say?"
Ozbex: *giggles*
Ozbex: too cute
IvyDamned: will he make other men feel less masculine?
Ozbex: he gets, like, mini sex scenes in SB from far away
Ozbex: through a hand held
Ozbex: for about a second
Ozbex: he is NOT paranoid about the dillo though
IvyDamned: O_O
Ozbex: he's very cocky *snigger* about it on the UL commentary
Ozbex: when they're talking about the bulge
IvyDamned: why, what does he say?
IvyDamned: OMG
IvyDamned: *reels*
Ozbex: he just laughs a lot
Ozbex: and sings some porn music
Ozbex: and goes, like "Bulge!" every so often
Ozbex: in the background
IvyDamned: *facepalms*
IvyDamned: no wonder he's single.
Ozbex: it's very funny, if you're me and stupidity amuses you
IvyDamned: oh man.
IvyDamned: I'm shocked into....into...
IvyDamned: something
Ozbex: LOL
IvyDamned: i might have my gay back now.
IvyDamned: *flexes*
Ozbex: *laughs*

*quivering in a fetal ball and weeping openly*

*watches X-Men*