Back to the Future

[ivyblossom]

"It's written in the history of the future."

Gotta love the Quebecois Separatists with their extremely logical language. They still have Separatistis, apparently, in spite of the fact that we haven't heard much about it in the last few years. They want to have another 'dum. You know, another referendum. I am very sympathetic to the Quebecois, I really am. Distinct society? Yes. I voted 'yes' on that 'dum. I'm a bilingual girl from Ontario, I'm a French immersion grad. I'm all about the French being special and lovely. I even know that you can't turn right on a red light in Quebec, and that's knowledge I garnered as a non-driver living in Ottawa, clearly I am pro-Quebec.

But the separatists still make me laugh. Hey, we couldn't get a majority the last time, well, best two out of three. No? Well, now that we have some war going on, now that the ridiculously (Quebecois) Prime Minister is about to step down, maybe we can get some anti-Canada sentiment up, we can get a sexy-looking leader...okay, maybe not...we can talk about 'embracing the ethnics', we can point out how 'a lot of them feel as though they are one of us', which I find very heart-warming, myself.

Let's move the separatists to Alberta, where they can make that province the fifty-first state. Suddenly four million Alberta cowboys would have spontaneous orgasms and erect American flags on the front of their houses, there would be dancing in the streets and lots of bookburning. They would dance the dance of death on their public health care system and exile their welfare recipients to British Columbia. Oh wait! They already do that! Edmonton would be a Canadian city state stuck in the middle and there would be a bloody border war, wherein the Alberta separatists would insist that Canada pay to move Alberta farther away from pinko Saskatchewan and godless British Columbia.

I love my country, I really do.

Comments

[kokopoko.livejournal.com]

Crazy canucks.

[thornsilver]

I am feeling warm and fuzzy on realization that you don't have to be a US citizen to have that lovely feeling about your country. :P~

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Er....this is a new realization for you? Well, I'm here to entertain and educate, I guess.

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

Hee. I just spoke on the phone with someone in Alberta. Love those Canadian accents. ;)

Also, can I just note how totally juvenile my sense of humor must be that I giggled over the juxtaposition of "orgasms" and "erect" in your paragraph about Alberta? *facepalms*

[tarimanveri.livejournal.com]

So do I, so do I.
I am a godless British Columbian coming out of lurkerdom to comment.
Alberta already is the 51st state. Yes, give them the separatists... only wait, they don't like bilingualism or francophones in general so I could see this creating a whole new set of problems. But BC would still be connected to Canada by the Yukon...
And the history of the future? lol. Maybe something got lost in the translation.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Alberta/Quebec slash. Now that's angsty. Cowboy hats, rodeos, brie, wine, and neither understand the other.

[waiman.livejournal.com]

So in the city state, do we get some military to protect us from the Calgarians?

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

We'll send you three canoes and a dingy, will that help? Maybe one part-time mountie, too.

[waiman.livejournal.com]

Damn we're doomed.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Just throw shiny things in the air. That will distract the Calgarians.

[waiman.livejournal.com]

*starts hoarding shiny things*

[athene-51.livejournal.com]

Hello! Wandered by from friendsfriends list and had to comment...

pinko Saskatchewan

Huh. Really? How could I have missed that? ;)

[serpenthe.livejournal.com]

Screw this; I'm moving to BC. But really, the thought of Alberta separating makes me laugh. At least Quebec has a distinctive culture. Albertans are all just a bunch of rednecks (with the exception of us people who live in the mountains.) Yeehaw.

Um.

[lout.livejournal.com]

Personally, I can see Alberta separating from the rest of the country. I'm not saying they will, but I can see it working out for them. Alberta could easily be very self-sufficient. They can live without Canada, but we can't live without them. But, dude, they don't hate Canada, anyway. Klein does. And we all know what kind of bad man Klein is.

You can't say they don't have a distinct culture there. Every freaking province has a distinct culture. How else would we make fun of each other? (All in good fun, I should hope.) You, yourself, just said that it's full of rednecks. Which I find really offensive, but okay. There's mountains, chinooks, there's the West Ed Mall, there's the ranchers in the south where everybody likes to kill gophers as a pastime. There's lots of Asians in Cowtown, and lots of Ukrainian people in Edmonton. I mean, there's definitely a culture there. Maybe not as extreme as Frenchie Quebec, but every province definitely has a distinct culture (well, if you group together the Territories -- polar bears and Inuit people -- and the Maritimes -- fish fish fish).

Re: Um.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Maybe not as extreme as Frenchie Quebec

WHAM! I don't think you get to talk about offensive language and say something like that in the same paragraph....it defies the laws of...well, something.

Re: Um.

[lout.livejournal.com]

I didn't think "Frenchie" was that derogatory. I didn't mean for it to have that kind of connotation, anyway.

[glory4sale.livejournal.com]

Rednecks? I highly doubt it... at least where I come from XD Maybe Northern Alberta is different from the rest of it. *snerks* Maybe WE should separate and take all of our crazy oil with us. But I mean, jeez... you can't label a whole freaking province as 'rednecks.' Yes there are rednecks. And you forgot about the Newfies.

[(Anonymous)]

I even know that you can't turn right on a red light in Quebec.

Actually, I believe we can, just not in the Montreal area.

I'm Mint, by the way. Sorry for intruding on your LJ. ^_^

[(Anonymous)]

Ack, my whole comment is in italics. The first phrase is yours.

Again, I apologize. :)

[tolarian.livejournal.com]

We're a fun little country, aren't we?

Liberal Ontarian Squee: Liberal Goverment in Quebec! Ha! ...When do we get one?

[(Anonymous)]

Liberals won Quebec election! Weep, Bernard Landry, weep. Alberta separatism is a very funny thing, though to be fair, they are calling it "western separatism." Air Farce: MB would join in if Brandon got to be the capital city, and instead of a PM, we'd have a Wheat King. Hoorah. Don't know if I'd miss Alberta. While laughing over the whole issue with a friend, friend commented that Albertans smell funny.