ivyblossom: (Default)
[personal profile] ivyblossom
So I was talking to [livejournal.com profile] tromboneborges yesterday, and for reasons unknown I decided to inform him that I pee like a boy.

I don't mean standing up, I really don't. I mean, I don't malinger in the bathroom. People always comment on that. At the movies I'm always waiting outside with the boys while the girls are powdering their faces or whatever it is they do. I do this quickly. Pee, wash hands, wipe hands on pants/skirt/shirt while getting out of there. Very simple.

So [livejournal.com profile] tromboneborges says we can stand around talking about manly things while the girls do their girlish things.

I mention this to [livejournal.com profile] epicyclical. She also pees like a boy. "Why hang around?" she says. "I never understood that." Then I was voicechatting with [livejournal.com profile] starbuckle and she says, "Hold on, I have to pee, just one sec!" and off she goes. Less than a minute later she is back.

"I pee like a boy," she says. I am dumbstruck.

Is it a slasher thing, we wonder? Do real slashers all pee like boys? Hence, this poll:
[Poll #155359]

Date: 2003-07-10 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackholly.livejournal.com
So I was going to answer, but I have a complicated relationship with the bathroom that this poll does not cover.

You know how in Quentin Tarantino movies, the bathroom is this oasis of calm, but that once you leave, everything around you may have changed? Well, I am right there with that. No one bothers you in the bathroom. Your boss doesn't ask what you're doing in there and no one can see your expression. If you want to give yourself a little pep talk, finish the novel you started on the train, or just relax a moment, you can go into a stall and have a nice little sit-down.

Sure it smells, but where else in the world will no one bother you?

Date: 2003-07-10 01:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jlh.livejournal.com
True, but all of this is about the HOME bathroom, and I thought this was more about the PUBLIC bathroom, which is an entirely different matter.

And for point of fact: When I go out with P, I always end up waiting for his arse outside the bathroom because he primps and does I don't know what else in there. Hopefully not hooking up but honestly I wouldn't put it past him.

Date: 2003-07-10 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackholly.livejournal.com
No, I am actually referring to all bathrooms, public and private. They are my personal sactuaries.

Date: 2003-07-10 12:44 pm (UTC)
ext_14405: (karggo)
From: [identity profile] phineasjones.livejournal.com
yeah, you need an 'other'. bc sometimes i pee like a boy and sometimes i primp. and really, sometimes the boys primp, i feel it should be noted. i don't fit in your boxes. ;)

Date: 2003-07-10 12:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] presentiment.livejournal.com
Oh yeah, I definately pee like a boy. Something about hanging out in bathrooms when I've already peed makes me nervous.

Date: 2003-07-10 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nefeleo.livejournal.com
it baffles me when random strangers attempt to strike up conversations while in bathrooms. How bizarre.

Not only am I in and out of there as fast as possible (I will, however, wait for a friend if there is no one else in there. It's only polite.), but I also hover, and refuse to touch any fixtures with my bare hands, including doorhandles and paper towel dispensers.

Oddly, public bathrooms are the only place I am germophobic.

:D

/random TMI

You Still Pee SLOW

Date: 2003-07-10 03:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luffymonkey.livejournal.com
Maybe it's cause you have to wade through crowds of primping women. The hovering process might also be cutting into your time. They should really install "Easy Hover Handles" into bathroom stalls.

We can race next time. Empty bathrooms. Loser has to hand over their pink slips. ;)

Date: 2003-07-12 11:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lunicanca.livejournal.com
it baffles me when random strangers attempt to strike up conversations while in bathrooms. How bizarre.

Oh, I know. It not only baffles me, it bothers me. I mean, what the hell. I don't feel particularly compelled to speak to strangers to begin with, so it occurring in the bathroom??? Gah. *shudders*

-Madeline

Date: 2003-07-10 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anadandy.livejournal.com
I have been told that if I was an action figure I'd have "quick pee action".

Date: 2003-07-10 12:52 pm (UTC)
ext_34769: (Default)
From: [identity profile] gothwalk.livejournal.com
I feel that option 1 would be, in some strange way, misleading. It is nonetheless true.

Date: 2003-07-10 12:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bemysty.livejournal.com
Oh, I do tend to linger in the bathroom occasionally. But this is all out of reasons which have nothing to do with "beauty" whatsoever but a lot with "unspeakable pain".

Date: 2003-07-10 01:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com
I move as quickly as I can. when alone, I'm in and out in less than 1 minute.

With the zoo, we can take as long as 3 minutes, if Dollface and Jonner both wore coats and overalls and had to poop.

So not only do i pee like a boy (barring the standing part), I'm teaching all 4 of my kids to do the same.

Date: 2003-07-10 01:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] princess-draco.livejournal.com
Public restrooms scare me, and there are many more comfortable places with more positive, uh, auras around. :D

Whoa.

Date: 2003-07-10 01:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] changeling7.livejournal.com
I feel very . . . girly.

Date: 2003-07-10 01:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mioknee.livejournal.com
I am a preener. What can I say? I must primp.

*hides* Don't hate me because I'm different!

Date: 2003-07-10 01:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maruchina.livejournal.com
I only primp when I'm at some party, so I'm going for the "I pee like a man" option. :D

Date: 2003-07-10 01:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] argentus.livejournal.com
Am boy, so I pee like a boy, but only because I can't take the time to look at myself in the mirror while there are strangers that can look at me looking at myself in the mirror. Is bothersome really...

Date: 2003-07-10 02:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] debellatrix.livejournal.com
I am *so* high maintenance.
Wash, primp, look at ass in mirror, make sure nothing is in my teeth, the list goes on.

Date: 2003-07-10 02:04 pm (UTC)
ladysorka: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ladysorka
Very occasionally I stop and run a brush through my hair. Only because I have very long, very thick hair that tangles within about 6 hours if I don't brush it every so often.

Does that count as primping?

Date: 2003-07-10 02:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twitchycat.livejournal.com
Hmmm...so is this a case where correlation equals causation? Does peeing like a boy make one a slasher, or does being a slasher make one pee like a boy? Or is there some mysterious third factor that figures in? *starts poking at the data*

Somewhere, my social psychology professor is laughing his head off at me.

For the record, I pee like a boy. In and out as quick as possible, no conversation, no primping. It's the way all the cool kids are doing it ;)

Date: 2003-07-10 03:28 pm (UTC)
kerri: (faerie)
From: [personal profile] kerri
I pee like a boy, but then I hang around and wait for my friends because I'd feel odd waiting outside the door of a washroom. (There's just something weird about a person hanging around the door to a washroom, you know? It's just not a place a person generally chooses to stand around at.)

Date: 2003-07-10 03:41 pm (UTC)
sheron: RAF bi-plane doodle (Johns) (Default)
From: [personal profile] sheron
I do prim. I just do it very very quickly.

I can't believe I answered this

Date: 2003-07-10 03:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] conversant.livejournal.com
I pee like a boy ... a boy with performance anxiety (or prostate difficulty, but as I am not a boy, I think this is not the issue). I do not linger in any spot in a public washroom except in the stall, and it's only time consuming when there is someone waiting for me. It is worst when another woman insists on accompanying me to the bathroom, occupying the next stall, and chattering away with me. In those situations, I find it almost impossible to pee.

I'm quite certain this must reflect some potty-training trauma; however, I refuse to pay an analyst to sort out my urinary psychoses.

Re: I can't believe I answered this

Date: 2003-07-10 04:04 pm (UTC)
ext_22302: (Default)
From: [identity profile] ivyblossom.livejournal.com
LOL Oh that's great. And good to know, really. I only talk in the bathroom when it's my mother or my sister in the next stall, generally, thought stopping me from talking for any length of time is a feat in and of itself.

Potty-training trauma, I suddenly want to bring you a little plastic potty and give you a hug.

Re: I can't believe I answered this

Date: 2003-07-10 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] conversant.livejournal.com
Yes, you know, I think my training potty played "Tinkle, tinkle, little star" when the fluid in the dish reached sufficient weight to depress a hidden switch. I've always, always hated that tune: I gave up trying to learn the violin because of it. And now we've uncovered the reason: potty-training trauma.

Re: I can't believe I answered this

Date: 2003-07-10 04:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nicolegray.livejournal.com
There's actually a name for that. It got mentioned in my psych class when we were discussing phobias, because public speaking is the most common phobia in the US, and apparently it's somehow related to having trouble peeing when there are other people around. I think it's called bladder shyness or something.

I do it too, if that makes you feel any better. Peeing in one big, happy, co-ed bathroom at school has made me a bit less neurotic about it, but every now and then I'm sitting on the toilet, with some totally random person in the next stall, and I think to myself, "I bet they're wondering why I'm just sitting here. They'll probably stay there waiting until I do pee."

Then of course, I sit there for like ten freakin' minutes, completely unable to pee, even though the person is long gone.

I doubt you had any potty-training trauma, for what it's worth. Maybe you did, though. Maybe when you were really little you fell in one to many times or something. :)

Re: I can't believe I answered this

Date: 2003-07-10 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] conversant.livejournal.com
Bladder shyness. It's always good to have a name to attach to life's issues. Thanks.

I wonder if it helps with stage fright if a person just imagines peeing? or imagines that everyone in the audience has their trousers or panty hose around their ankles?

Date: 2003-07-10 04:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] storm-maven.livejournal.com
This is funny. I get in, take care of business and get out. I also have three girls that do the same. My youngest two, however, can pee standing up. It amazes me because if I tried that, I'd be in need of a shower and a change of clothes.

Date: 2003-07-10 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marycucumber.livejournal.com
I don't primp, that is what you do at home, with your spare time. However hand dryers are enormous fun....well the auto-maticy ones. Anyway....I mean....you *can't* primp in public bathrooms! There are no wires and papers and cats to trip over! Completely pointless. I find it amusing that most of the guys I know hang around in bathrooms doing god-knows what. I don't even want to know......wait yes I do.
Why do teenage guys spend so long in bathrooms, then come out looking like they just won ten million dollars?
Can I slash them if they do that?

Date: 2003-07-10 05:20 pm (UTC)
ext_22302: (Default)
From: [identity profile] ivyblossom.livejournal.com
Oh please do!

LOL

Date: 2003-07-10 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lunarennui.livejournal.com
on occasion, i do indeed pee standing up. and no, it doesn't run down my legs. heh.

mostly, though, it's the good old sit down and get it over with. standing up is mostly to prove i can.

Date: 2003-07-10 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saucy-wench.livejournal.com
It takes me about 10-15 minutes to pee. I pee, then primp in the mirror. And I have to wash my hands twice, then dry them with the hand dryer until they're totally dry, and then I fix my hair and reaply lip-gloss.

Am such a girl.

Date: 2003-07-10 11:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] goldensnidget.livejournal.com
Gaah. Reading all these comments, now I have to pee.

Date: 2003-07-10 11:30 pm (UTC)
ext_18381: meebo tzippy (Me: Bitch are you kidding me?)
From: [identity profile] trempnvt.livejournal.com
There's no 'other' selection.

I pee very simply and with no fuss (except for when I'm reading), but it takes a while anyway.

It's like with showers. People think I take half-hour showers because I'm lazy or self-indulgent. But I'm not! It just takes half an hour! And I'm all, "HOW THE HELL DOES IT TAKE YOU ONLY SEVEN MINUTES TO TAKE A SHOWER AND WASH YOUR HAIR OR DO YOU NOT USE ANY TOILETRIES IN YOUR SHOWER AND NOT EVEN BOTHER TO GET YOURSELF COMPLETELY WET?"

Image

Date: 2003-07-11 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lunarennui.livejournal.com
hmm. do you have long hair? use conditioner and wait at least the allotted time? do a full-body scrub with loofah? shave legs as well as armpits?

i take 7 min showers, even when i have long hair, but i don't loofah or shave my legs. condition, yes, often for less than the 2+ mins directed, shave armpits, yes, but other than that...

*shrug*

maybe it's a genetic time-warp sort of deal?

Date: 2003-07-11 11:04 am (UTC)
ext_18381: meebo tzippy (Default)
From: [identity profile] trempnvt.livejournal.com
I have long hair, but not oh-so-very-long, just about two inches below my shoulders. It's very thick, though, so it takes forever for all of the conditioner to wash out (yeah, I wait a minute or two, but I figure that only costs me...well, a minute or two). I soap up pretty simply (soap on, soap off, ta-da!), and if I shaved my legs in the shower, it'd be even ten minutes longer, so there's no way I can do that.

*baffled*

Date: 2003-07-11 08:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hedonisticated.livejournal.com
You are so cute.

And you know what? I'm at work, sitting here working on building up this stupid laptop that I'm supposed to be finding updates on and instead looking at livejournal, and I just finished a large bottle of water like 15 minutes ago and have had to pee for the last ten.

And yet, I've been putting it off, although my bladder is completely about to explode, just to tell you that I indeed pee like a boy - but only at parties that I'm eager to get back to. *G* Otherwise I take my sweet time.

And you know what? My dog? Who's a female dog? She lifts her leg like a male dog does so they don't pee on themselves... I mean she really does because normal female dogs just squat when they have to pee - but no, she lifts her leg. So yes, she pees like a boy too.

And there you go. *G*

Date: 2003-07-12 11:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lunicanca.livejournal.com
*laughs*

I don't pee like a boy. I take my time. I don't necessarily primp, though I do brush my hair on occasion if it needs it. I just don't rush. Also contributing to this fact is that I am picky about being clean after going in the bathroom- so I make sure to wash my hands with soap and get them nicely dry, because I know how many people don't. Anyway. I don't really fit into your boxes, though. :)

-Madeline

Date: 2003-07-13 02:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toujours-impur.livejournal.com
you know, in China you *have* to stand up..cos most of the time it's just a hole in the ground... and then you have nowhere to primp cos there are no sinks. It's really great, you know, really classy. Especially when you go in the train and you can see the tracks underneath. Yep.

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