Do you pee like a boy?
Jul. 10th, 2003 03:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
So I was talking to
tromboneborges yesterday, and for reasons unknown I decided to inform him that I pee like a boy.
I don't mean standing up, I really don't. I mean, I don't malinger in the bathroom. People always comment on that. At the movies I'm always waiting outside with the boys while the girls are powdering their faces or whatever it is they do. I do this quickly. Pee, wash hands, wipe hands on pants/skirt/shirt while getting out of there. Very simple.
So
tromboneborges says we can stand around talking about manly things while the girls do their girlish things.
I mention this to
epicyclical. She also pees like a boy. "Why hang around?" she says. "I never understood that." Then I was voicechatting with
starbuckle and she says, "Hold on, I have to pee, just one sec!" and off she goes. Less than a minute later she is back.
"I pee like a boy," she says. I am dumbstruck.
Is it a slasher thing, we wonder? Do real slashers all pee like boys? Hence, this poll:
[Poll #155359]
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I don't mean standing up, I really don't. I mean, I don't malinger in the bathroom. People always comment on that. At the movies I'm always waiting outside with the boys while the girls are powdering their faces or whatever it is they do. I do this quickly. Pee, wash hands, wipe hands on pants/skirt/shirt while getting out of there. Very simple.
So
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I mention this to
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
"I pee like a boy," she says. I am dumbstruck.
Is it a slasher thing, we wonder? Do real slashers all pee like boys? Hence, this poll:
[Poll #155359]
no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 12:41 pm (UTC)You know how in Quentin Tarantino movies, the bathroom is this oasis of calm, but that once you leave, everything around you may have changed? Well, I am right there with that. No one bothers you in the bathroom. Your boss doesn't ask what you're doing in there and no one can see your expression. If you want to give yourself a little pep talk, finish the novel you started on the train, or just relax a moment, you can go into a stall and have a nice little sit-down.
Sure it smells, but where else in the world will no one bother you?
no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 01:25 pm (UTC)And for point of fact: When I go out with P, I always end up waiting for his arse outside the bathroom because he primps and does I don't know what else in there. Hopefully not hooking up but honestly I wouldn't put it past him.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 01:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 12:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 12:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 12:48 pm (UTC)Not only am I in and out of there as fast as possible (I will, however, wait for a friend if there is no one else in there. It's only polite.), but I also hover, and refuse to touch any fixtures with my bare hands, including doorhandles and paper towel dispensers.
Oddly, public bathrooms are the only place I am germophobic.
:D
/random TMI
You Still Pee SLOW
Date: 2003-07-10 03:14 pm (UTC)We can race next time. Empty bathrooms. Loser has to hand over their pink slips. ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-12 11:06 pm (UTC)Oh, I know. It not only baffles me, it bothers me. I mean, what the hell. I don't feel particularly compelled to speak to strangers to begin with, so it occurring in the bathroom??? Gah. *shudders*
-Madeline
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 12:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 12:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 01:14 pm (UTC)With the zoo, we can take as long as 3 minutes, if Dollface and Jonner both wore coats and overalls and had to poop.
So not only do i pee like a boy (barring the standing part), I'm teaching all 4 of my kids to do the same.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 01:17 pm (UTC)Whoa.
Date: 2003-07-10 01:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 01:25 pm (UTC)*hides* Don't hate me because I'm different!
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Date: 2003-07-10 01:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 01:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 02:04 pm (UTC)Wash, primp, look at ass in mirror, make sure nothing is in my teeth, the list goes on.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 02:04 pm (UTC)Does that count as primping?
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Date: 2003-07-10 02:13 pm (UTC)Somewhere, my social psychology professor is laughing his head off at me.
For the record, I pee like a boy. In and out as quick as possible, no conversation, no primping. It's the way all the cool kids are doing it ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 03:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 03:41 pm (UTC)I can't believe I answered this
Date: 2003-07-10 03:57 pm (UTC)I'm quite certain this must reflect some potty-training trauma; however, I refuse to pay an analyst to sort out my urinary psychoses.
Re: I can't believe I answered this
Date: 2003-07-10 04:04 pm (UTC)Potty-training trauma, I suddenly want to bring you a little plastic potty and give you a hug.
Re: I can't believe I answered this
Date: 2003-07-10 04:23 pm (UTC)Re: I can't believe I answered this
Date: 2003-07-10 04:21 pm (UTC)I do it too, if that makes you feel any better. Peeing in one big, happy, co-ed bathroom at school has made me a bit less neurotic about it, but every now and then I'm sitting on the toilet, with some totally random person in the next stall, and I think to myself, "I bet they're wondering why I'm just sitting here. They'll probably stay there waiting until I do pee."
Then of course, I sit there for like ten freakin' minutes, completely unable to pee, even though the person is long gone.
I doubt you had any potty-training trauma, for what it's worth. Maybe you did, though. Maybe when you were really little you fell in one to many times or something. :)
Re: I can't believe I answered this
Date: 2003-07-10 04:27 pm (UTC)I wonder if it helps with stage fright if a person just imagines peeing? or imagines that everyone in the audience has their trousers or panty hose around their ankles?
no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 04:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 05:17 pm (UTC)Why do teenage guys spend so long in bathrooms, then come out looking like they just won ten million dollars?
Can I slash them if they do that?
no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 05:20 pm (UTC)LOL
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Date: 2003-07-10 06:10 pm (UTC)mostly, though, it's the good old sit down and get it over with. standing up is mostly to prove i can.
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Date: 2003-07-10 07:03 pm (UTC)Am such a girl.
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Date: 2003-07-10 11:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 11:30 pm (UTC)I pee very simply and with no fuss (except for when I'm reading), but it takes a while anyway.
It's like with showers. People think I take half-hour showers because I'm lazy or self-indulgent. But I'm not! It just takes half an hour! And I'm all, "HOW THE HELL DOES IT TAKE YOU ONLY SEVEN MINUTES TO TAKE A SHOWER AND WASH YOUR HAIR OR DO YOU NOT USE ANY TOILETRIES IN YOUR SHOWER AND NOT EVEN BOTHER TO GET YOURSELF COMPLETELY WET?"
no subject
Date: 2003-07-11 04:12 am (UTC)i take 7 min showers, even when i have long hair, but i don't loofah or shave my legs. condition, yes, often for less than the 2+ mins directed, shave armpits, yes, but other than that...
*shrug*
maybe it's a genetic time-warp sort of deal?
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Date: 2003-07-11 11:04 am (UTC)*baffled*
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Date: 2003-07-11 08:46 am (UTC)And you know what? I'm at work, sitting here working on building up this stupid laptop that I'm supposed to be finding updates on and instead looking at livejournal, and I just finished a large bottle of water like 15 minutes ago and have had to pee for the last ten.
And yet, I've been putting it off, although my bladder is completely about to explode, just to tell you that I indeed pee like a boy - but only at parties that I'm eager to get back to. *G* Otherwise I take my sweet time.
And you know what? My dog? Who's a female dog? She lifts her leg like a male dog does so they don't pee on themselves... I mean she really does because normal female dogs just squat when they have to pee - but no, she lifts her leg. So yes, she pees like a boy too.
And there you go. *G*
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Date: 2003-07-12 11:16 pm (UTC)I don't pee like a boy. I take my time. I don't necessarily primp, though I do brush my hair on occasion if it needs it. I just don't rush. Also contributing to this fact is that I am picky about being clean after going in the bathroom- so I make sure to wash my hands with soap and get them nicely dry, because I know how many people don't. Anyway. I don't really fit into your boxes, though. :)
-Madeline
no subject
Date: 2003-07-13 02:06 pm (UTC)