Fandom

[ivyblossom]

All this arguing about gay marriage has oddly got me thinking about fandom. Fandom and what I'm doing in it, I guess.

What I've learned in the three years that I've been kicking around these parts is that people get involved in fandom for a lot of different reasons. The trouble comes when we try to pronounce the one true reason, the one we're there for, as if everyone is doing the same thing.

I'm just as guilty of this. At the beginning I thought everyone was in it roughly for the same reasons I am: I want to write. Everyone I met in fandom wanted to write. I've been over my reasons for being in fandom a million times, so I think I can sum them up quickly; 1) fanfiction is a fun playground and a community of writers, 2) slash lets me write romance stories I can deal with (as opposed to 'traditional' romance which the snob in me doesn't like), lets me deal with some of the homophobia and coming out issues I've been dealing with myself for the last eleven years, and 3) writing about boys lets me read/write/talk about masculinity, which is a topic that I am particularly interested in. I read slash fanfiction for about the same reasons as I write it. If you want to ding me with a fetish, it's a hero/nemesis fetish.

Fandom has been very useful for me in a million ways; I've met lots of people. Some of those people have been beta readers or just readers in general, and some have been outstandingly helpful to me as a hopeful original fiction writer as well. I've learned a lot about writing under very generous conditions, I've learned ways to construct viable characters, and had lots of practice at giving that a shot. I've learned more than I ever expected to need to know about writing sex, which is a lesson I consider extremely valuable.

If fandom includes fantasy for me, it's the fantasy that leads to writing. The fantasy of plotting a story, or creating a character. Writing is the beginning and the end of my fandom experience. I know many people are involved in fandom to fulfill some fantasies they have that they brought with them to fandom; I feel like an empty vessel next to these people. I really come here and take things away, I don't think I bring a lot to it. Is fantasy that turns into fiction any different from regular fantasy? I have no idea.

I have often run across discussions about fanfiction, and slash fanfiction in particular (given that those are the circles I move in) that revolve around fantasy and sexual gratification as the central reason for being here. This isn't my experience, even though I am the author of several NC-17 rated fics. I'm not sure if i can actually say this and be believed, but again, the fantasy element is the part that leads to writing, not to...I don't know. Fandom does not replace my sex life. Fandom is not a supplement to my sex life, or any personal fantasy life. Except where it involves the direct production of writing, which I'm not sure is an except, but there you have it. I'm not saying this to stare down my nose at anyone, not at all. This is just my experience.

If you your purpose for being involved with slash fanfiction is fantasy, then presumably you don't need to answer for that fantasy when the revolution comes, so to speak. Here we are, the revolution is here, and people are up against the walls; who's here for the politically right reasons? Who's here to objectify/infantalize gay men as objects completely outside their existence as real life people? Who's here because their fantasy led them here? Who's producing fics because it makes a hard copy of the fantasies that fulfill them? Who are we to judge what people are doing here?

Since the beginning it's been clear to me that slash fanfiction communities are no bastion of gay awareness or gay rights. The number of fics that are blatantly homophobic are many; gay men are characterized as lisping femmes who like to wear women's clothing, as unable to distinguish one sex partner from the other because a) it doesn't matter, and b) there are too many to count, the various sets of inherent characteristics many writers often include into gay characters that makes them actually gay. All those conversations that revolve around whether a character in canon is in fact gay or not; the characteristics that are pigeonholed 'gay' are traditional, straight-jacket lists of trite untruisms. So are these writers trying to project any sense of reality? Maybe so, maybe not. Is reality important to us? Does it matter if we write about 'gay' characters in a fair and educated way? Does it matter if we just write them the way we've come to understand them, often without ever having actually met a real gay person?

Lots of people are here for the fantasy. For whatever reason, two men going at it (Clark and Lex, Harry and Draco, etc.) turns people's cranks. It's not about making them gay, it's just about making them make out. Who are we to judge that? Who are we, and I speak here for those of us who do stand up for gay rights, for those of us who live that life every day, how can we point fingers at those who come here for their dose of fantasy, to share a fantasy and take one home with them?

I can't say I understand all the reasons people are here. I can only understand mine. And while I appear to be defending those whom I have defriended and who have defriended me because our reasons for being here don't match up, that's not exactly what I'm doing either. I won't take back what I've said, because it's still true; as a human being, I can't bear to maintain connections with people who believe a certain set of things that run contrary to my beliefs. I have lines in the sand like that, and they have nothing to do with fandom. It's just my personal set of ethics.

So I'm not sure what I'm saying here, really. I feel like these requirements are being set forth, and I'm not sure any of them are fair or safe. I feel that some of them are inherently hypocritical. There is no membership test for fandom, there is no one true way. I guess we can only just make our own decisions about how we want to proceed from here, and who we can surround ourselves with. It's a heart-breaking moment for me to discover that I have fundemental differences of opinion with people I love and respect. I'm still sorting out how to cope with that.

Who am I to judge how people use fandom. I use it in my own way too. But I'm not sure how to deal with what I've come to know.

Comments

[lagreyeyes.livejournal.com]

I think you're just...amazingly humane, both in your writing and your postings.

"But I'm not sure how to deal with what I've come to know."

I'm only a reader, not a writer, but that last line sums it up for me. *sigh* The more I learn, the more sullied I feel. Too many games, too much oneupmanship, not enough understanding. I came to the fandom as an innocent....I only wanted to read.

Late now; time for bed. Thanks for being you.

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[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I hear you there. Stupid things are happening, and the more they happen the more these issues are cropping up and the more friendsships are getting destroyed. I mean, on some level I guess it's good to know these things about the people around you, but maybe if we stopped pretending we all had the same motivation we would stop expecting everyone to agree with our (perfectly logical) real-life social expectations.

Thanks for your very generous comments. I wasn't even sure this post made any sense.

[chaos-rose.livejournal.com]

Who am I to judge how people use fandom. I use it in my own way too. But I'm not sure how to deal with what I've come to know.

Yeah. This really has been the week of wake-up calls both in fandom, and (worse) personally. I'm not sure how to deal with it either.

Re:

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

It's not something I feel like I can ignore, you know? But there's nothing else we can do, really. I don't think. Who knows.

Depressing really, isn't it.

[adinasauce.livejournal.com]

Fandom is not a supplement to my sex life, or any personal fantasy life.

Nor is it for me, and it kind of worries me when I find people who define your statement. It worries me because it seems like they're not drawing a line in the sand. Feh, it's 3am, I'm not too articulate.

I'm in the fandom for the sense of community. There are people out there who share my interest! Huzzah! I love that feeling: that I'm not the only one. There are many others, despite all of our differences, who are interested in the same thing. We've voluntarily joined due to our mutual agreement. That's the simple, base reason for me.

...this, far moreso than your post, made no sense. Apologies all around. *uses excuse that it's 3am*

Re:

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you're right, that's a good reason. I can see that too, I think the writerly-community, and the writer-appreciation-community, is excellent and wonderful. And being able to share things you have in common with others, it's great. This is good, I do need to focus on the good parts at the moment, and you're right.

And I'm not positive that post made any sense. I just wanted a record of the throught process for some reason.

[luciusmalfoy.livejournal.com]

so that's where our conversation ended up.

HAHA

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[boniblithe.livejournal.com]

Ours too.

Re:

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was disappointed that you were offline by the time I finished writing it. It took so much longer to talk out even. Thanks.

[uncreative.livejournal.com]

i get that.. :) i get it because i know it goes out to people like me. the reader, not the writer.. the one who's not in it for the development of the literature, but for the smut.

i like the way fandom has been so far - i like the openness, and the way no one has been excluded. i think that there's room for everyone of us, both types. i think there should be room for people like myself, who merely find fandom and what it produces as a way of entertainment, and maybe an outlet for some sexual fantasy's. i guess everyone's gotta decide for themselves who they wanna spend their time with.

but that was too vague to get a discussion going for my part.. please offend me, and i'll come around with my real opinions :P

Re:

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

LOL Sorry, I'll get to work on something offensive. And I agree with you, there is room for everyone. I guess at that point I just wanted to say, hey, we're not all here for the porn, though feel free to go right on ahead. And I need to stop pretending that people are here for the same esoteric reasons I am. Fandom is varied and all that. :)

Hmm. I'm going to have to go think of up something really good and offensive...

[dorrie6.livejournal.com]

This is an interesting post. I'm here (in fandom) for the same reasons you are... exactly the same reasons. And I suppose you're right about passing judgment on others for their reasons. In a way, though, I'm not sure that's what we're doing. I wrote this (http://www.livejournal.com/users/dorrie6/193901.html) the other day, and I think I still stand by it. Perhaps we're wrong to judge people for their reasons for being here... but I can't help judging them for their homophobia. I'm not saying they are bad people for it, but they are wrong. There aren't many things in this world I'm absolutely sure of, but I am sure of this. I know you feel the same way. Perhaps we don't get to judge them, but certainly we don't have to pretend we think it's okay?

Argh. Maybe you're right about all of this. I've never thought of myself as a judgmental person, and I don't like feeling that way now.

Re:

[go-back-chief.livejournal.com]

Perhaps we're wrong to judge people for their reasons for being here... but I can't help judging them for their homophobia.

I think this is an incredibly important distinction to make. I'm not sure anyone is in the fandom for the same reasons that I am. My reason is just that I'm so incredibly fascinated, by, well everything really, and on many different levels. I've been fascinated by Internet fandom, ever since I first discovered it in 1998 (way before I had even read HP), and I even wrote my thesis about TV-related Internet-based fandoms in 2001. I realise there are an incredible variety of reasons for why people enter, and I don't think I would ever judge anyone's reason to enter, anymore than I would judge anyone for being part of it in the first place (which, of course, would be a totally hypocritical thing to do). However, I WILL judge anyone's homophobia, misogyny, racism, or other kind of prejudices. I agree that these kind of prejudices, do not, automatically, make the persons who harbors them, 'bad persons', but the prejudices are still wrong, and must not be accepted.

[boniblithe.livejournal.com]

If everyone was as openminded and thoughtful about the issue as you are, there would be less flame warring and more actual useful conversation in fandom.

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[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha that's so funny. :D

[naomichana.livejournal.com]

I'm in fandom because I love to read, because I love to discuss/analyze, and because I enjoy a sense of community. I've joined other loose assemblages for the same reason -- in fact, if we leave aside the whole belief-in-God thing, that's a fairly accurate description of why I'm Jewish. ;)

I share what I perceive to be your discomfort at the notion that everyone is in fandom for the same reason. I do think there's the potential to make some sort of conditional moral judgment, i.e., "if you are here to focus on reading and/or writing about homosexual characters in a fictional world even remotely resembling ours, it is irresponsible of you not to consider the realities of homosexuality in our world. If you are here to fantasize about homosexuals, it is uncharitable of you not to care about them in a real-world context. If you are here because you enjoy the sense of community, it is foolish of you not to realize that many of your friends and neighbors here identify as queer or bi and will be directly affected by the positions you do or do not advocate. If you are here because you think you are morally unassailable, whatever your position, you are deluded."

I guess we can only just make our own decisions about how we want to proceed from here, and who we can surround ourselves with.

Yeah, exactly. But I'm reaching a point where I simply don't want to deal with this argument in every single damn area of my life. In the World Outside Fandom, I have walked away from or changed topics at least five conversations this week so that I could remain casual friends with otherwise pleasant people -- people whose moral systems differ from mine, as I knew from the outset -- by avoiding an imminent discussion of That Gay Marriage Thing. I haven't had to do the same within fandom, yet, but I suspect it's only a matter of time.

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[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

"if you are here to focus on reading and/or writing about homosexual characters in a fictional world even remotely resembling ours, it is irresponsible of you not to consider the realities of homosexuality in our world. If you are here to fantasize about homosexuals, it is uncharitable of you not to care about them in a real-world context. If you are here because you enjoy the sense of community, it is foolish of you not to realize that many of your friends and neighbors here identify as queer or bi and will be directly affected by the positions you do or do not advocate. If you are here because you think you are morally unassailable, whatever your position, you are deluded."

See, that's the offensive post that I would have liked to write. Though actually I think no one will put themselves in that context, really. I think there are lots of elements of fandom who have forgotten that their fantasy world is not in fact the real world at all. But yeah, on the community side...that's where I draw the line personally, and it's certainly not a fun line to draw.

And so we keep changing the subject. :)

[zahavah.livejournal.com]

When I first started reading fics, people who ask me why I particularly liked the characters being gay... and I just told them that it had nothing to do with it. I like the characters of Harry and Draco together... who cares if they're both male? And who cares in real life? The sad thing is that a lot of people care, and I don't think I'll ever understand it. Brilliant entry.

Re:

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot, and yeah, I totally understand. At first I thought the idea of fanfiction was so ridiculous, but I love the way it charges my hero/nemesis fetish. That and the hours I get to spend considering the implications of masculinity.

I guess we all have our obscure 'fantasies'. Hehehe. Perhaps some are just more visceral than others.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

It's not about making them gay, it's just about making them make out.

Oh my god, that just sums it up completely! It seems like there's just too many reasons why anyone could be in fandom, trying to define it is like herding cats. I mean, I support gay rights but I know I don't read slash stories to see how a character copes with being gay in a social context. If either character was revealed as gay in canon that would be great, but it doesn't have any connection to slash whatsoever to me...which is why of course people have always written fics where the characters spend half their time marveling over how they want to sleep with a guy even though they AREN'T GAY AT ALL! Fiction and fantasy are amazingly elastic things. If I can make it work that Harry would wake up and fall in love with Draco in my head, I can obviously also make it that Harry does this without having any connection to the gay man next door.

So separate issues, yeah, but both are important. If you feel strongly about something and somebody disagrees, it's not surprising to find you maybe just can't be friends with them.

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[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

If I can make it work that Harry would wake up and fall in love with Draco in my head, I can obviously also make it that Harry does this without having any connection to the gay man next door.

Yeah, I really don't understand how you can rationalize that. Clearly I don't run fandom and I can't force anyone to rethink what they're doing, but taking the gay out of that scenario is like taking the wet out of water, and the fact that anyone feels there's a reason to do that strikes me as...problematic.

But, hey, I know exactly where my lines in the sand are, it's easy for me to say.

[debellatrix.livejournal.com]

This certainly made me think.

I got into the fandom while I was waiting for book 5, but I *stayed* because of the people I "met" and thought provoking posts like these. I had no idea that I would find a community (in actuality, a corner of it) of intelligent, witty and talented people that I would want to spend time with. An added bonus, I would say.

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[epistretes.livejournal.com]

I kind of stumbled across fandom as an accident - imho one of the best accidents of my life.

I'm an aspiring author whose dreams had been all but crushed by some meanspirited people and finally I found an outlet to get writing again. I found some friends that I now count as "real life friends" also as I have met many of them. I love to write, I love social contact, this I found in my fandoms and I found the support I needed for not just my writing, but also for my bisexuality which for the most part I had not gotten before.

I think that for the most part, fandom, even slash fandoms, dont need the discussions of Gay Marriage etc, mainly as I dont even really want to discuss it with my other bi and gay friends...they know my opinions and that for me, is that. I dont want to discuss complex politics with anyone, be they on "my side" or not. To me, fandom is more lighthearted than that.

I thoroughly agree with your post and I hope that people can just enjoy fandom without saturating it with politics. There is a time to just be friends again without any strings.

(I doubt that made sense, today is my worst day of the year, I tend to be a bit preoccupied, so I apologize for the rambling)

[harlequincy.livejournal.com]

I am in fandom, because I was bored one day. I started reading fan fiction, and was entertained by it. Eventually I was led to Cassie's DT, and there I found my place in fandom. I now have a group of friends that all say, "hello," to me, every time I sign online. It's a wonderful feeling to matter, and I think I'm addicted to it. That is why I am still here.

"It's a heart-breaking moment for me to discover that I have fundemental differences of opinion with people I love and respect. I'm still sorting out how to cope with that."

This sentence spoke right to me.

A year ago, if you'd asked me, I would've said that all homophobes were all evil evil people, and that they should be wiped off the face of the earth. I still wish homophobia would be wiped off the face of the earth, but I have recently discovered that a few people that I love are not exactly in favor of gay rights.

It is so heartbreaking, and I don't know how to deal with it at all, because I love these people, but they believe in something which insults me, and breaks my heart. If you figure out a way of dealing with that kind of situation, please let me know, because I'm seriously struggling.

Re:

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

I'll keep you updated. :) Hehhee. I know, I'm struggling too. We'll do the best we can.

[syndarys.livejournal.com]

Be warned, here be crude language thanks to my trucker mouth...

I would like to say, like most people have, that my reasons for being in the fandom (and I'm clumping all my fandom's together for this) parallel yours - but they dont really, and I'm not one for lying.

I honestly cant even remember how I came into the whole slash fiction thing - I know my sister introduced me to fanfiction in general, but I was mostly reading het fic to begin with. But I know that I've never had any trouble with slash fic - not even when I first read it, even though I've been brought up by parents who are fairly homophobic (though they claim not to be).

I'm bisexual myself, and my best friend is gay... I guess it all just relates to normal life for me, odd as that may seem to some. I admit to 'camping up' a couple of the characters on occasion, but thats only because I see it regularly in real life (you ought to see my best friend mincing along down the street...!)... but yeah, I've only ever really written stuff that I know... it does piss me off when people characterise gay characters as just being mincing wannabe drag Queen's who'll fuck anything that walks. Where do they get their stereotypes from? Gay porn flicks?

Though I hate to judge people in the fandom, I cant help but want to bash my head against my keyboard when I read another fic where Draco is a girly ponce who's checking his hair every 5 seconds. It's not so bad when it's Marauders/70's era, because hey, it was the age of glam, and alot of guys were like that then. But the point is - guys are guys. They're nothing like girls, and I dont like it when they're characterised like a girl with a dick. I just want them to act like normal guys I'd meet in the club, y'know? Though I must admit, I do know a couple of lads who are more girly than I am ;)

But as far as fandom goes - it isnt the place for discussions about gay marriage, gay rights, etc... that should be on the sidelines, not in with the action. Fandom is my place to go and have fun with people who share the same interests as me... I dont like to see it torn up by arguements about things that shouldnt even be in the fandom in the first place. I think that alot of the time, fandom takes itself too seriously. It's not a place you go for drama, y'know? It's a place you go to relax and enjoy yourself. And dude, am I repeating myself *shuts up*

Re:

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm good at taking the moral high road, but I'm not trying to condemn any other reasons for being in fandom.

My friend told me that I think too well of her, since she's really into slash fanfic for the 'awww' factor. I get that too; I mean, it's all entertainment in one way or another. I support entertainment, I support the idea of being here for a good read. And there's nothing nearly as satisfying (I'd say) as a good story with good characters with a very hearty dose of romance in it. And that story is the most satisfying when that sexual relationship is consumated. I'm not trying to hide my own participation in that factor of it. To be honest, I love writing highly rated fics. It's just fascinating to me and I love writing sex. It's so incredibly complicated and detailed and it has the possibility for so much emotion and catharsis, I just love to write it. So there's the sheer enjoyment factor too, which I don't want to dismiss or lessen.

I guess what ends up happening is that people let their hair down and we get to see everything, and sometimes everything isn't as nice and tidy as we'd like.

Thanks for your comments, I really appreciate them.

[rinkori.livejournal.com]

It really surprised me that people in the slash fandom didn't support gay marriage, for reasons that others have stated already. Most of my real-life friends and family are homophobic or neutral, but I never expected to have to deal with homophobia in a fandom that (to me) it seemed would logically support gay rights.

In fandom, however, the anonymity inherent in Internet relations allows me to state my feelings on the matter in a relatively straightforward manner, whereas in real life "actual" relationships are on the line. I hope that certain friendships will survive the debate, but I seriously doubt that what to me is a gaping chasm of difference can be resolved easily.

This probably makes no sense, but in any case, thank you for posting such a thought-provoking entry. :)

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[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Hey, thanks for reading it. And yeah, I agree, that chasm is extremely vast. I guess we'll see how it plays out.

Thank you!

[hedonisticated.livejournal.com]

Shite.


There's been a lot of recent political/gay rights activism talk on LJ that I just didn't wanted to get into because nobody had touched on what you've just in this post. I mean, when you come in here spouting out that you're the prime example of an open-minded person, and basically that everyone should follow your lead - it only makes me cringe and further doubt your credibility.

I don't know, I've just seen a lot of self-righteous, pretentious crap being tossed back and forth, and it pleases me that your post addressed the underlying homophobia we all ( slash writers included ) have poking under our skin, as well as the multiple reasons we're all in fandom.

Re: Thank you!

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not really comfortable with the activist talk either. I mean, while I do certainly have my personal feelings on the issue, I'm not sure I can support drumming people out of fandom because of why they're participating. I wish instead of using fandom as a platform for social change people would volunteer at the local abused kids shelter or something. Become a guide/scout leader. Join PFLG. We're mostly a lot of talk here in fandom, after all, and writing Harry Potter porn is not going to change the world.

Clearly a lot of homophobic people read it for kicks and then go back to wanting no rights for gays. I'm not sure that's the model of activism we want to support.

[sinisteral.livejournal.com]

That was very thoughtful that got me actually thinking about gay rights to fanfiction slash. Although I came to this fandom for the fandom and storyline, it never hurt to add same sex characters who made out and all. I actually enojyed it much more with that. So if we think it's hot with story boys having a go, we should also think about rights for homosexuals. It's similar to slash term except that it's reality.

[ixchelmala.livejournal.com]

When I got here, I had no idea I'd fine really good reading material. Yes, I was here for the sex, lacking a life in that part of my life and coming out of my divorce and other trials you know about.

But then what I came here for morphed into what I considered was/is quality fanfic that explored the relaionships, no-holds-barred, and *that's* the kind of sex, if you will, that hooked me... because regardless of the genders involved, if the relationship was one that showed what I was severely lacking in my life a the time, then it was a good place to escape to and see what could be. A fantasy? Maybe... bu it always centered around relationships. It just happened to be that most of the fic I read was same gendered.

Anywho, after sometime, the reason I came to fandom, morphed even more as I made friends independantly of my in-person life connections and though I've had my good and bad spots of time. Oh yeah, flame wars galore. Ugh.

Then it morphed again to HP meet ups, to where it is presently having come full circle with canon, focusing on theories.

Because of fandom and the quality fanfic I've read, coupled with meeting fandom theorists I find myself totally open to the whatever sexuality the characters relationships lead them to.

For me it goes back to why those relationships develop and grow and change and work themselves out, the reason I came to fandom, even though, on the surface, I found myself here for the sex. I guess I was really looking for stories about relationships where people treated each other in a way that seemed realistic in and when they dealt with the challenges of their lives.

So time passes and things change and if I got one thing out of fandom, it's that I'm totally open to see what happens to my favorite fictional hero in the mainstream, even if some may think that it's not something that the mainstream crowd may be ok with.

my 2 cents.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't have an LJ - I just lurk here from time to time. But I really felt the need to comment.

I was raised in fairly strict religious home but formed my own opinions about the world. I have believed for a long time that sexuality is not a choice but the way you are born. I've had several gay, lesbian, and bisexual friends over the years. But I've watched these issues from the sidelines and never really taken a stand.

I came into the fandom after OotP letdown so I haven't been around that long. Slash initially appealed to me because it was hot and naughty and like nothing I'd read before. I've learned more about gay male sex than I ever thought I would!!

But after reading so many of these stories and watching this right to marriage drama play out for the last few weeks I feel I have to take a stand now. Why? Because it should just be about who you love. And who is anyone to criticize anyone else's defintion of it. I'm a straight, married, Catholic, female and I will fight with every ounce of my being any attempt to legalize discrimination.

So, Ivy, I'm really sorry that some of the people you thought were friends have let you down and chosen not to support you. But there are those of us out here who have gotten to know you and your fellow slash writers through your wonderful stories and choose to support you.

Re:

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Thanks so much. I really appreciate your comments and your point of view.

Don't you hear the siren call of lj? Oh yes, yes you do. :)

[humdrumtown.livejournal.com]

I was bored out of my mind, and stumbled down your lj and found this little entry.

I think this is the first time I have ever questioned my reasons for being in this fandom...and in some ways I have too many reasons. I do like seeing Harry and Draco make out, but only for the fact that a story has got to be really good to make it even plausible. This is a fandom where I can see real, wonderful writers create stories that might appear far-fetched when looking at the canon. I won't deny that I have an interest in gay literature. I am a freakishly liberal, openminded girl who is interested in everything there is out there. I am even more interested in the things I might never experience. Maybe for some strange reason that is an explanation for why I like gay literature. It is me looking at someone else who's preference is different and seeing things from their perspective. I would be very bored if the characters I read about had the same views and beliefs as me. Homophobia makes me sick to my stomach and it disgusts me that there is homophobia in the fandom. I don't like those who think Harry and Draco (or any other pairing) are just "deviants" who are acting out things they find "cute."

In some ways I am here for the same reasons as you are, only in the reader's way. I am here to see the world in a different way. That has been what literature has always been about to me. I read to learn and to gain something. That doesn't mean I have never read a PWP, because I have, but I am not here to just relieve some strange urge to see two men having sex. If I wanted to do that I could always watch my friend Greg with his boyfriend, lol. I love your writing because it is often filled with real meaning and a beautiful plot. And sometimes I am lucky enough to find writers who do the same. I like love stories in general and not just slash. Hell my first fandom was Mulder/Scully Romance. My first introduction to slash was Krycek/Mulder...before then I never knew it existed so I think my interest in slash was peaked merely because it was something new I had never read. I don't know if any of this made sense, but in my head it did, lol. Simply put, to me a gay love story is a love story just like any other love story...so the fact that some people in the fandom can be so hypocritical is horrible and is enough to make me wretch.