The meeting that never was

[ivyblossom]

Update: After staying up late worrying about this untitled meeting in my calendar, and fretting about it all the way to this VoIP session I was heading to, I spent a very entertaining morning with men in suits who use words like "utilize" and "presence management" while showing us their butt-ugly IM client that they think is the latest and greatest in the corporate world while asking us questions like "So, which of you are the tech guys?" and passing around their BlackBerrys so we can all see how busy and cool they are. I got to wear a little visitors pass that said "MUST BE ACCOMPANIED AT ALL TIMES". Very swanky place. Lots of greased hair and, inexplicably, really baggy pants. Why do men wear baggy dress pants to work? What are they concealing under all that fabric? Makes you want to write corporate slash, I tell you. (Their muffins, however, were crap. I'm prepared to go on the record about that.)

And when I got back, there was no note on my desk from anyone I had warned about my possible 9 o'clock meeting that might spontaneously attempt to occur without me. No email from anyone asking me where I was. No phone messages from an annoyed faculty member chiding me for standing them up. No tears, no screaming, no stern looks. Silence. Nothing.

Did I make up this phantom meeting? Apparently I did. I think I do it as my daily cardio workout. Thanks to everyone for their support. I couldn't have made it through without you.

Comments

[starbellys.livejournal.com]

What are they concealing under all that fabric?

They are concealing their hard-ons from using words like "utilize" and "presence management" in sentences

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh so that's what it was.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

metaquotes.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Wow, I had no idea such a thing would be metaquote worthy. They really were crap muffins. I was so disapointed.

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

I spent a very entertaining morning with men in suits who use words like "utilize" and "presence management"

Ahahaha. Welcome to my life. I've even caught myself using the word "utilize" lately. Sad, sad, sad.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

USE USE USE!!!! I don't understand this obsession with -izing things. What does it mean?! There are two male librarians at my work place, and two guys who take care of the computers. The computer guys wear jeans every day (though one of them has a disco steak and likes pink). Estrogen central over here, and no baggy-panted corporate types.

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know. "Utilize" is one of my pet peeves. It shamed me to no end to hear it come out of my mouth when I wasn't thinking carefully. Clearly I've been working here too long.

And luckily, I don't actually work daily with baggy-panted corporate types, but I do interview them over the phone frequently for the magazines I edit. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth trying to get them to say something that isn't empty corporate-speak. Frankly, if that's the kind of talk that goes on in boardrooms around the world, it's a wonder anything gets done.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Our guy, the one presenting to us, ended every thought with, "Fair?" Which I thought was a mite strange. At first I thought it was sort of neat, like, he was saying "is that fair to say?" which is an interesting thing for a corporate type person to ask. Is it fair, I mean, since when do corporate types really care about fairness? I mean, nice to check with us. But then, hey, he was saying it when he couldn't possibly be asking us that. It was just his "ahem" word. Bleh.

Fair?

[orangemike.livejournal.com]

I am so very glad to be distant from all such hideous ordeals.

If they couldn't spot the techs, they have no business huckstering for technology products!

I assume the baggy pants are some sort of fad in their cultural sub-group (either that, or they are for disguising the fact that their buns are worse than their muffins). But... corporate slash? Euuuu! Even if I were into slash, the very concept makes my skin crawl.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

I've never been in the icy cold grip of the corporate world before, you see. I work for a library, not for a company with publicly-traded stock. It honestly looked like all the men were wearing pants two sizes too big. It's like the other side of the skater craze.

[orangemike.livejournal.com]

I work for a library
What campus? Are you represented (AFSCME, etc.)?

I'm taking the State of Wisconsin Library Services Assistant civil service test tomorrow myself.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Represented? I'm not sure what you mean. I work at the University of Toronto.

[orangemike.livejournal.com]

I meant represented by a union; I'm a former UW-Milwaukee employee, and hope to be again (taking a Library Services Assistant test in about half an hour, actually). I was an activist in the Amer. Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees. The Canadian equivalent would be CUPE, or maybe PSAC.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Librarians at the University of Toronto are represented by the faculty union, actually.

[luciusmalfoy.livejournal.com]

you should come over here and be my friend, ivy.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Should I? Are you lacking for friends suddenly? You always have so many! Surely you don't need another! Not a random chubby Canadian like myself.

[luciusmalfoy.livejournal.com]

Yet I must have MORE. MORE.

You are better than most people. :D

[ordencodex.livejournal.com]

Ew greasy slicked back hair. Ew baggy pants. Hurrah imaginary meetings!
And dude. BlackBerrys? Were you at RIM?

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

I wasn't, actually. I was at, uh...N*rt*l. That's as much as I can say, my paranoia level is suddenly high.

[ordencodex.livejournal.com]

*laughs* And I understand what that says! Go me!
Sorry, didn't mean to spike the paranoia. :) I just thought "Wow! BlackBerrys = RIM!" because my aunt used to work at RIM, developing them.