When the world gets you down...
Jan. 19th, 2006 09:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ivyblossomToday I went with a friend of mine to the local mall to pick up a few things. (Passport photos so I can go visit ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
treehavn in the spring, new earphones, a calendar, that sort of thing.) And I was in an awfully jolly mood on the way back home. I practically danced my way to the exit, feeling that all was reasonably well in the world, all told. As I was walking out, I heard a little old asian lady asking for help finding the bus station.
"I'm heading there," I said. "I'll take you."
She's a slow walker, this little old lady, so I slow down to a very slow saunter and talk to her. We talk about the weather. All very casual, very friendly. I like being a good member of the community; as I'm walking (very very slowly) I think, hey, what's the rush. Life is short. Enjoy it while it's here. Be a good person. Help people out. Love the place you find yourself in. It doesn't hurt to be nice.
And then she says, "...and they're trying to do this same-sex marriage thing! Can you believe it! Where would you and I be if there had always been same-sex marriage, eh?"
And I said nothing. My heart fell into my shoes. What could I say? Do I want to make a scene? Do I really want to see what happens after I tell her that I'm actually pretty much in favour of having full civil rights, thankyouverymuch?
It kills me that I said nothing. What I should have said was, well, you could be back there looking for the damn bus stop, lady. By yourself. Because I would have turned into a bitter, twisted lesbian having been given fewer rights than you and wouldn't have felt moved to help you. But I said nothing at all. Actually I saw my bus coming so I ran for it. i didn't help her to the escalator. I didn't help her to her platform, which I fully would have done otherwise. I just said, "there's my bus," and ran.
I'm telling you, kindness doesn't always pay. Ruined my whole evening.
treehavn in the spring, new earphones, a calendar, that sort of thing.) And I was in an awfully jolly mood on the way back home. I practically danced my way to the exit, feeling that all was reasonably well in the world, all told. As I was walking out, I heard a little old asian lady asking for help finding the bus station."I'm heading there," I said. "I'll take you."
She's a slow walker, this little old lady, so I slow down to a very slow saunter and talk to her. We talk about the weather. All very casual, very friendly. I like being a good member of the community; as I'm walking (very very slowly) I think, hey, what's the rush. Life is short. Enjoy it while it's here. Be a good person. Help people out. Love the place you find yourself in. It doesn't hurt to be nice.
And then she says, "...and they're trying to do this same-sex marriage thing! Can you believe it! Where would you and I be if there had always been same-sex marriage, eh?"
And I said nothing. My heart fell into my shoes. What could I say? Do I want to make a scene? Do I really want to see what happens after I tell her that I'm actually pretty much in favour of having full civil rights, thankyouverymuch?
It kills me that I said nothing. What I should have said was, well, you could be back there looking for the damn bus stop, lady. By yourself. Because I would have turned into a bitter, twisted lesbian having been given fewer rights than you and wouldn't have felt moved to help you. But I said nothing at all. Actually I saw my bus coming so I ran for it. i didn't help her to the escalator. I didn't help her to her platform, which I fully would have done otherwise. I just said, "there's my bus," and ran.
I'm telling you, kindness doesn't always pay. Ruined my whole evening.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 08:09 pm (UTC)Anyway, the original point was just that it pains me to see negativity replied to with more negativity. The latter being your agitation, regardless of whether or not you expressed it directly to her. I guess what I'm saying is, I would have continued to be kind to her only because I wouldn't have any reason not to -- difference in opinion is of no consequence -- and that in itself would have made dealing with agitation easier. It is doubtful that she would have responded kindly to you if you had confronted her about her opinion of homosexuals, and so there would have been nothing you could do. Thus, to me, there was no reason not to continue as if she had said nothing.
I realize that her comment affected you deeply, and I'm not trying to tell you how you ought to be or act. I just wanted to share my point of view, since so few people share it.
At least you didn't beat her over the head with an umbrella. -_-
no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 08:32 pm (UTC)You wanted me to not feel agitated? That's outrageously unfair, and you seem to be priveledging this woman's experience far, far over my own. She deserves my kindness, but apparently I don't deserve hers.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 08:48 pm (UTC)Nobody deserves any unkindness, period, and let's just leave it at that.
My original intent was not to offend or to judge. I'm sorry. -_-