When the world gets you down...

[ivyblossom]

Today I went with a friend of mine to the local mall to pick up a few things. (Passport photos so I can go visit treehavn in the spring, new earphones, a calendar, that sort of thing.) And I was in an awfully jolly mood on the way back home. I practically danced my way to the exit, feeling that all was reasonably well in the world, all told. As I was walking out, I heard a little old asian lady asking for help finding the bus station.

"I'm heading there," I said. "I'll take you."

She's a slow walker, this little old lady, so I slow down to a very slow saunter and talk to her. We talk about the weather. All very casual, very friendly. I like being a good member of the community; as I'm walking (very very slowly) I think, hey, what's the rush. Life is short. Enjoy it while it's here. Be a good person. Help people out. Love the place you find yourself in. It doesn't hurt to be nice.

And then she says, "...and they're trying to do this same-sex marriage thing! Can you believe it! Where would you and I be if there had always been same-sex marriage, eh?"

And I said nothing. My heart fell into my shoes. What could I say? Do I want to make a scene? Do I really want to see what happens after I tell her that I'm actually pretty much in favour of having full civil rights, thankyouverymuch?

It kills me that I said nothing. What I should have said was, well, you could be back there looking for the damn bus stop, lady. By yourself. Because I would have turned into a bitter, twisted lesbian having been given fewer rights than you and wouldn't have felt moved to help you. But I said nothing at all. Actually I saw my bus coming so I ran for it. i didn't help her to the escalator. I didn't help her to her platform, which I fully would have done otherwise. I just said, "there's my bus," and ran.

I'm telling you, kindness doesn't always pay. Ruined my whole evening.

Comments

[labyris.livejournal.com]

You sure do know how to engender comments, usually a lot! But is this a record? I really appreciated your sharing your experience. Being a lesbian, I have been in similar situations and I decide whether to say something or not based on the individual circumstances. Sometimes I am successful, sometimes I am not, in responding in a thoughtful way, but still expressing my difference of opinion. Sometimes I am so upset or emotional or taken aback, that I become speechless (a rare event indeed, believe me!) Continuing to be the wonderful, helpful, and caring person you are is the only way. Don't let her narrowness and prejudice limit your ability to be who you are.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

But is this a record?

Oh, definitely not. :) This is what happens when you move in fannish circles, don't mind it.

And thank you for your comments. Up and down, up and down...what can you do, right? I guess it will all work out in the end if we keep plugging away at it. ;)