Things I've learned today

[ivyblossom]

First, things really too look nicer if you bother to iron them. Mom, you were right.

Second. I was reading some comments on something or other and andi_sunrider, who I met while I was in Vancouver some weeks back, says that I am funnier in person.

Well, colour me shocked. I didn't think I was funny in the first place, to be honest with you, and I sure didn't think I was funny in person. I can't think of a single funny thing I said the entire time I was in Vancouver. I think I mentioned the weather a few (hundred) times.

Honestly, I never thought of myself as funny until this whole fandom thing happened. My fics are generally not funny, unless they are funny. I mean, unless they're parodies, and then they're kind of funny. But between me and luciusmalfoy, I always thought of her as the funny, cutting edge one and me as the, hmm, blabby, over-enthusiastic, over-educated, hurt/comfort swoony OTPer. I'm the one with the bowl of granola and the lesbian feminist commie pinko politics. I'm the earnest girl with the guitar.

I didn't think I was particularly funny or interesting in my personal life until I was out with some high school friends recently and I said, "Oh, me and B. always have the most interesting conversations." (This would be because we just talk about sex a lot.)

"Ivy, you could have an interesting conversation with yourself," my friend A. said. Other friends agreed.

I was about to say, "What the heck does that mean?" but then I realized that that's pretty much what this livejournal amounts to, so I shut up. That might not be about funny so much as weird, but we'll leave that well enough alone.

Since I'm navel-gazing long and hard, I'll also mention that another word that comes up to describe me is "cute". Once, in a seminar, I was getting very excited about the topic and I said, "Okay, bear with me, I haven't thought this through but I want to dump it out there and see where it goes," and then took a breath, and this girl, phd student in the Harvard history of science department, I mean, in the middle of this intense seminar, laughs. She laughs and says, "Oh Ivy you're so cute!" I was floored. I mean, holy throw me for a curve. I think I turned pink and then laughed and kept going. My professor was kinda like, "Whaaaaa?" I have no idea what that meant either.

So a few months back I was out with an old ex of mine and we were having lunch and I said something or other that was not funny I thought, and she laughed and said, "Oh Ivy. You're so cute!"

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. I am not cute. I mean, I'm not cute in any traditional way. I'm 5'7, I'm a size 14, I have bazoombas that could kill your sister. I'm really very plain-looking. I don't think this has to with that kind of cute. Is it just that I take myself too seriously?

So the point of this navel-gazing post: I must have one really wacked out sense of self-image, because I hardly understand why I get called these things. Though I think I can live with both "cute" and "funny". I know I get called other things behind my back (things that rhyme with 'hitch' and 'bunt') that are probably worse, so I shouldn't complain.

Comments

[mawaridi.livejournal.com]

Oh, you are funny. And cute in an "I don't know you and I've never spoken to you" sort of way. You always make me giggle. And being cute is not necessarily a bad thing - I've been called cute way too many times, and it always used to annoy me and make me demand to know why, but now I take it as a compliment and don't stress *S* They think you're cute! Cute is Good!

But people call you a snitch and a runt behind your back?? That's so...mean ;)