From the "who knew" file...

[ivyblossom]

If you've been a lesbian your entire adult life and then meet an amazing person you want to marry who happens to be a man, you are going to a) cause much ire and consternation among some people who you once considered good friends and amazing people, and b) be the butt of the anger and contempt of said former friends.

For the record: I'm not your lesbian role model, and I never should have been. My life is my life, not your political slogan.

But hey, maybe that's the price you pay to start being eligible for heterosexual privilege.

Comments

[pieslut.livejournal.com]

Shit fuck, I'm sorry I brought it up in a public post. I should have just emailed you my nosy, nosy question.

[manzai.livejournal.com]

*blinks* Wow! You've really stirred the pot this time, my dear. Not only do you listen to your heart for your entire life, you actually TELL people you do that. Now how are people supposed to label you if you won't fit into their categories??

You may not be a lesbian role model, but you are a role model. You stick to your principles, you say what's on your mind, you live your life out in the open, you've faced cancer and conquered it, you're happy ... good grief, you're exactly what people aspire to be!

Anyone who has a problem with that seriously needs their head examined. ^__^

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

I honestly fail at understanding why someone's sexual preference, REGARDLESS, is anyone's effing business. And I'm also saying, cripes. what you've been through in the last year, do you think that anything but the fact that you're here and you've beaten this thing and you've got someone by yourside who loves you is pretty much the ONLY thing that matters. Why in the hell don't people look at the larger picture? You can have a jones for small plush toys. It doesn't matter. If they are consenting plush toys and you are a consenting adult, then, again, it's no one's business but your own.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Oh no no I don't think that had anything to do with it, don't worry. :)

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha "I had cancer, come on, stop being shitty to me." I wonder how long I get to play that card. ;)

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Well thank you so much, I think that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a really long while.

You rock.

[tzi.livejournal.com]

People are really kind of bizarre, in so many ways. It's nobody's business but yours, and so. Yeah. Maybe. =)

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

It's another object lesson, I suppose. Not everyone in my situation is a "tourist". :/

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Good point. Thanks for the food for thought.

[myclevername.livejournal.com]

I've always thought "who gives a shit, love is love." Whether you classify yourself or not, love is love. It is precious and should be cherished.

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

I was one of the lucky ones. They sent me to a cancer surgeon and I was the 1% who didn't have cancer. That didn't mean that I didn't have massive surgery and follow that up with CAT scans all the time because they wanted to make sure. I only lived with the uncertainty. I can't imagine living with the certainty. So yeah, you play that cancer card, honey, because I find it not a little petty that your friends are raking you over the coals because the someone you want to cuddle with at night has a dick, when you could be cuddling next to an IV drip that's got chemo drugs in it (like another friend on my flist). These are your friends??????????

[djin7.livejournal.com]

O_o Wtf.

Anyways, I just wanted to say congrats about the prognosis, and your hopeful future! Be happy. ♥

[(Anonymous)]

If they weren't the one to put the ring on your finger, then they have no right judge you about these matters. I think it's beautiful that you found love in an unexpected place (or gender, rather). Life is too short to be held down by politics and other peoples expectations and presumptions. Congrats on your marriage, your health and for setting the record straight!

[mawaridi.livejournal.com]

Ugh. That is just ugly. I could go off on a political rant but I wouldn't put forward anything that hasn't been said already, so I'll just say shit, I'm really sorry. That kind of backlash is the last thing anyone should have to put up with after the year you've had. I guess it just goes to show that even amazing people can become amazing idiots when misguided politics come into it.

[nightbluesprite.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that people feel the need to rain all over your parade. Why can't they just be happy for you?

Well, I am. *HUGS* And congratulations, again!

♥

[lasultrix.livejournal.com]

I wish I could say that this surprised me. The sad truth is that if you said that nobody had reacted badly and nobody had thought of you as some sort of traitor, I'd be shocked.

*hugs* When the world gets less homophobic. this siege mentality will dissipate.

I use this icon I made ages ago, based on your "Michael Rosenbaum is stealing my gay!" phase!

[metal-dog5.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. Do these people not see the hypocrisy they're applying to you and how you choose to live your life and who you love. As long as you are happy, what does it matter who you're with?

[complicittheory.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I pointed toward tom robinson before...

You'll always be Ivy Blossom to me. Seriously. Well, 1/3rd of you will be.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

That much?

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Yeah, siege mentality is a good way to put it. Thanks for the icon, hon. :)

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Hey thanks! I'm doing my best!

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And I agree: life is short. Might as well enjoy it while we're around!

[complicittheory.livejournal.com]

Well, 3 names by which you are known.

[cherrybomb07.livejournal.com]

What. WHAT?? Of all people, shouldn't they be understanding and not be so bloody hypocritical? Pot, kettle, black. Oh my God, I'm so annoyed on your behalf! Love is love, end of. It must be so hurtful, especially from people you considered to be good friends :( I'm really sorry - heterophobia is no better than homophobia, and I'm just staggered that they don't see that.

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

Oh, Ivy. *hugs* One of my closest friends here also identified as a lesbian as long as I knew her up until she fell in love with someone who happened to be a man, and so I can totally understand how it happens, and I'm sad that people are being dickish about it. I guess I can understand it on a personal level in a way; I still identify as queer -- leaning towards pansexual, if I must have a more specific label -- and yet because I'm married to a man, the assumption tends to be that I'm heterosexual. (When of course I'm actually just Veelasexual.)

Your sexual preferences and their potential to change over time in no way negate your awesomeness.