Update

[ivyblossom]

It was pointed out to me recently that I haven't posted in a while. So an update:

About three weeks ago I was diagnosed with severe anemia, probably caused by my recent cancer treatment. (Both severe hypothyroidism and radiation cause anemia). I'd been in denial about feeling bad and getting worse for a couple of months, and refused to even consider going to the doctor until I started losing my balance and needing to sleep 18 hours a day. Stupid. I'm feeling a lot better today. So at least I'm on the upswing. I don't feel like sick chick today. That's a bonus I'm grateful for.

On the cancer front: at 6 months post radiation, I'm still reading cancer-free. I'm off the "every three months" schedule to once a year, which shows you just how unworried my endocrinologist is about me. An ideal resolution to what has been a textbook treatment process. For the record: when someone tells you that a certain treatment is easy, remember that no cancer treatment is easy on your body. It's more of less easy for the doctors to conduct, and requires more or less direct intervention from hospitals and doctors, but cancer treatment is hell on your body. I'm very happy it's over, and the idea of ever having to go through it all again could very well give me a mental breakdown. (That's not a good "cancer survivor" attitude, is it!)

I'm feeling relatively at peace with my cancer survivorship status; I'm interested in getting more involved in Relay for Life (both in the real world and in Second Life. I've bonded with other folks with the label. I have forgiven my body for the bad things its done, and I'm grateful to it for the things it didn't let happen to me (using calcification to prevent metastases, for instance, and for keeping my malignancy differentiated and easy to treat). I'm interested in talking about what it's like to have cancer and raising awareness in general; not about cancer (everyone knows about cancer) but actually about how many of us survive and go on to be productive members of society. Everyone dies eventually; lots of people who have had cancer do go back to having normal lives, and the incredible fear that comes along with cancer is way out of proportion. I want people to see how many of us have been through it and are still around and making the world a better place.

In other news, I'm heading off to Copenhagen tomorrow for a week-long conference on internet research. My newly-acquired husband is a founding member of the association hosting the conference, so he'll be there as well, which is great because we live in different countries right now. I'm really looking forward to it. That conference is tons of fun, and hey, who says no to Copenhagen?

My darling cat, Horatio, is going to stay with a friend for the week. Right now he's curled up on his chair by the window, completely unaware of the fact that, in a few short hours, I'm going to quickly and quietly dump him into his carrier and he will be whisked away. Hopefully one day he will learn to forgive me.

I've been watching star trek episodes at work, starting with season 7 and working backwards. I'm on season 5 now. I've got two monitors, so I keep the episode at the farthest corner from me. It plays in the background, and since I've seen every episode, they're just comforting. The people I work with have taken to looking at my screen through the window and guessing which episode I'm watching. Work is awesome, and I can't quite believe how lucky I am. Not only do I have what is certainly the best job for my personality, my employer and my co-workers have been incredibly understanding about my on-again off-again health. I guess this is one of the bonuses to having a terrible diagnosis (not so terrible though, really!)

The husband sent me a 6-month-iversary present; a glowing little shy guy (him) that flickers colours and light in response to sounds. Also a guide to touring Amsterdam, Brussels and Bruges, which is where we're going for our "honeymoon" right after christmas. The distance thing? Not so bad. Not when we're both online constantly, employing twitter, flickr, IRC, IM, Second Life, and blogs on a regular basis. It's like he's right there...except...that he's not making dishes for me to wash. :) Looking forward to hanging out with him in Copenhagen, though.

I'm doing American Thanksgiving with his family in Ohio. His mother has cats. 12 cats. TWELVE CATS. She rescues them and then can't part with him. You gotta love a woman with 12 cats.

So how are you?

Comments

[ninja-tech.livejournal.com]

:D Wow! Great to hear that things are going better! Life is treating me alright and I probably spend way too much time on LJ. *unashamed grin*

Enjoy the trip and stop by more often! *hugs*

ETA: And YES - you gotta love a woman with 12 cats. XD

[treehavn.livejournal.com]

Everyone dies eventually; lots of people who have had cancer do go back to having normal lives, and the incredible fear that comes along with cancer is way out of proportion.

True. I think I reacted the way I did when my mum got sick primarily because my opa had ignored his prostate cancer symptoms for so long that it was ultimately terminal. Although my mum was quite a serious case, touch wood, she's cancer-free now. Treatments have come on leaps and bounds. Silly you for not attending to the anemia thing earlier - there's normal post-treatment tiredness, when your capabilities are worn way down, and there's being seriously depleted. Glad you're feeling much better now though. Can't wait to see you both!

Also: bugger, you're coming Europe-wards the end of the year? What are your dates - if we're not in Canadia by then maybe we can hook up for a few nights in Amsterdam (which is a wonderful city btw)?

[venivincere]

(That's not a good "cancer survivor" attitude, is it!)

Actually, it's honest -- so many people who've gone through treatment once and have the misfortune to relapse often choose not to take further treatment for that very reason.

But anyway, I'm glad to hear you're doing so well! I hope you have a lovely American Thanksgiving and enjoy Copenhagen and your honeymoon! :-)

[laurenmitchell.livejournal.com]

Everyone dies eventually

True, but it's nice to know that you'll be hanging around a bit longer.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Leaving here the 26th, we're there until...well we're there that first week in January. Would LOVE to see you both!!

[maruchina.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're doing better! I think you're dealing with all of this in a manner I have to admire.

I'm doing well and will be studying at the University of FLoriday from January - May. :D So I'm busy arranging all sorts of things that come with going abroad, writing my thesis and working 24 hours a week, but very excited about getting everything organized.

If you have some time when you're in Amsterdam, I'd love to meet up, by the way!

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

oh DONE. OMG that would be FANTASTIC! You can meet my geek of a husband, otherwise known as Jeremy. Wow, srsly, I would love that! I'll let you know once we have tighter plans. So far we're flying in and out of Brussels and want to be in Bruges for new years (we think), but have no plans beyond that yet. You are SO on the agenda. Do you think we should spend new years in Amsterdam instead?

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

:P

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Gosh..I hadn't thought of that. Do people often refuse treatment? I can understand it, but...faced with that situation, I just can't imagine saying no. That seems even scarier.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

If my mom got cancer I would completely lose it. I think that would be worse than having it myself.

And I'm glad to hear she's doing well, I can't wait to hear more about the house-hunt. :)

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Yes I miss LJ. New fandom?

[ninja-tech.livejournal.com]

Lots of different ones that I just dabble in. Almost all of them are (of course) linked to Japan. But I'm still following all the old fandoms. (HP, anime, etc)

[venivincere]

Many do. Especially the patients we see in our service. They only come to us when they've failed all conventional treatments. When they find out about the experimental treatments (many of which are kinder to the body than conventional treatments) they still often opt to spend their remaining relative good health enjoying life instead of spending what can amount to a great deal of time in the clinic supporting research.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

I can understand that. They don't often encourage that option, do they, to just stop and enjoy the time you have. No one wants to admit defeat, and no one wants to be a lost cause, I guess. But saying no to more (possibly pointless) treatment seems like a mature decision. I'm not sure I could make it. If I have to do it again at least I know what I'm in for; I had a much harder time recovering from treatment than anyone ever suggested was possible. But I only spent about 6 months of my life in that state; not an entire year in just treatment, so I'm grateful. :)

Do you work with a variety of experimental cancer treatments? Do you know anything about epigenetic treatment? A guy in my cancer support group is investigating it, as chemo and radiation aren't working so well for him.

[aldiara.livejournal.com]

Good to hear from you and that you seem to be in the clear of cancer-aftermath. I'm not sure there's a "right" cancer survivor attitude - frankly the people who come over all like it didn't affect them at all scare me a little. Just keep taking good care of yourself.

Have a fab time in Copenhagen, I'm jealous!

(What's new with me? Spring in New Zealand, wheee! And I have fallen head over heels for a new fandom. Gay!German!Soaps! Is best thing ever! ... yeah, don't ask, lol)

*hugs*

[ixchelmala.livejournal.com]

It's good to see a post from you:) I've been thinking of you (and all the awesome ways you made an impact in my life while I grew a little more in this space: LJ, fandom, the making of new friends and all that goes with it.) Thank you. I know I've said it before, but really, it's been a wonderful ride that I'm still reaping from... and in many ways, you were one of my first impressions of how awesome things here are. So yeah.

As for me?

Married life is creeping along. In good ways. Who knew I'd have so much fun working on our household budget together with my Math half?

So yeah, once all this number stuff is done, we'll be on track for other things like travel and maybe a house, if this global financial meltdown doens't make things worse.

Oh yeah,I almost forgot to tell you. I have some mp3s covers of your She Says and others. Flitzer says, if youre interested, we can clean up some of the hiss send them on to you. Let me know.

[maruchina.livejournal.com]

Yay!! :D. I'd love to meet your husband!

As for New Year's - Amsterdam is going to be VERY crowded and touristy at New Year's, but if you don't mind that, I'm sure there will be lots of events and fireworks and such. I'm not sure what Bruges will be like, but Bruges is a much smaller city, and has a more romantic setting. There's probably going to be fireworks as well. I recommend checking with the tourist information offices of both cities, to see what they've got going for them around New Year's.

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Gay German soaps! My goodness. There's a fandom and everything?

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

YAY! Sounds like you're doing pretty darn good too. :) I'm happy to hear it.

Clean up some hiss? Dude, go for it, I'd be curious to hear how it comes out. :)

[treehavn.livejournal.com]

This not knowing when we're going to be moving is a pain in the arse. Unfortunately at the moment it looks like - visas permitting - we'll be in Spain with G's mum for Christmas, then flying from the UK to Canada afterwards. That said, it's all dependent on paperwork completing by then so...who knows? I don't!

[venivincere]

Mostly we work with targeted therapies that block (at various stages) gene expression -- some are antiangiogenics (they prevent new blood vessels from forming), some inhibit the expression of certain proteins or kinases, which eventually leads to tumor cell death. I don't think any of the ones we're working on right now cause DNA methylation or chromatin remodeling, which is what epigenetic treatments are based on. Is he having any luck finding treatments?

[aldiara.livejournal.com]

Like you wouldn't believe :D

[nest-freemark.livejournal.com]

So I start reading LJ again after being too busy with life, World of Warcraft and finding an oh-my-a-man and I find that you've both gotten married to a man and fought cancer.

:D!

I'm happy that you're still cancer-free and that you've found someone to love. :)

[nicocoer.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you have some good work there. :)

I hope you enjoy your conference and seeing your hubby!

And his mom has 12 CATS? She sounds awesome!

[applekid.livejournal.com]

are you taking iron supplements for your anemia, or is there some other therapy they use?

i'm really glad you're feeling better, and that your prognosis is A+.

yayyy!